Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Watch this space...
...because my sister-in-law, Susan, recently gifted me with a "facelift" for my blog! I got a peek at it this week, and can't wait to have it installed. Thanks, Susan!
Monday, April 16, 2007
If you can't say something nice...
you're probably living my life right now.
Seriously.
See, my family and made the mistake last week of letting down our gaurd and letting go a little. We all were so sure that Mom, was "done", that she just had to go back last week for more labs, followed by regular appointments/scans.
We were wrong. My embattled body wasn't fighting off the effects of the chemo, and Wednesday I had a harried run back to Moffit in terrible traffic, followed by and ambulance transfer to another affilliated hosptial (Moffitt was full, evidently, EVERYONE decided to have issued the week after Easter).
It's been six days. Six. That's longer than a chemo round. Without the prep time for me or the family. Talk about control issues. I can wait in the hosptial for my body to behave or go home and chance dying within eight hours.
Thankfully, once again the family has circled the wagons, both practically and in prayer. And people are praying everywhere.
But it's a reminder not to let down our gaurd, to persist in righteousness, and to keep our eyes on the prize in all things, not just what has become "Sarcoma Watch 06/07!"
God willing (no fevers), I get to go home tomorrow. It will be sweet, but we all will be wiser and warier.
Press on towards the goal today...and have a blessed Monday.
Seriously.
See, my family and made the mistake last week of letting down our gaurd and letting go a little. We all were so sure that Mom, was "done", that she just had to go back last week for more labs, followed by regular appointments/scans.
We were wrong. My embattled body wasn't fighting off the effects of the chemo, and Wednesday I had a harried run back to Moffit in terrible traffic, followed by and ambulance transfer to another affilliated hosptial (Moffitt was full, evidently, EVERYONE decided to have issued the week after Easter).
It's been six days. Six. That's longer than a chemo round. Without the prep time for me or the family. Talk about control issues. I can wait in the hosptial for my body to behave or go home and chance dying within eight hours.
Thankfully, once again the family has circled the wagons, both practically and in prayer. And people are praying everywhere.
But it's a reminder not to let down our gaurd, to persist in righteousness, and to keep our eyes on the prize in all things, not just what has become "Sarcoma Watch 06/07!"
God willing (no fevers), I get to go home tomorrow. It will be sweet, but we all will be wiser and warier.
Press on towards the goal today...and have a blessed Monday.
Labels: Cancer, Reflections
Sunday, April 08, 2007
It is finished
I was released from my last day of chemotherapy on Good Friday. One of my favorite nurses, Janelle, was taking care of me that day. She is a believer, and her mother is a cancer survivor who now directs an oncology center in Chatanooga, TN.
She was telling me that her mother's center recently installed a large brass bell in the front lobby, and whenever someone finished with chemo, they got to ring the bell, both to declare their "graduation" and as an encouragment to others.
Wow, I thought, compared to that, walking out of Moffitt was kind of anti-climactic. (Although my kiddos and in-laws greeted me with beautiful banners and my sister sent gorgeous roses) And while I think I would like a celebration of some sort when I'm feeling better (there is definitely another transfusion in my very close future)--mostly to celebrate my amazing support team in "real time" and on the internet--I couldn't help thinking.
How typical of us as people for us to want us to recognize our suffering and struggles. And we ALL have suffering and struggles...maybe not cancer, but we all walk those paths. But to reflect on in on Good Friday, yes, I had been miserable, but not to the point of shedding blood. Yes, it was an awful round, but I was not alone; my Jesus suffered alone and he died for me and for the sin of the entirety of mankind who would by grace believe. I was happy to get out, but I did feel rather small and melancholy as I reflected on my Savior's death, as is more than appropriate for Good Friday.
Lord, let my life be the bell that rings not my own sufferings and joys, but simply the music and truth of who you are. Thank you for your choice to suffer for that which you did not deserve and that which I so highly did.
She was telling me that her mother's center recently installed a large brass bell in the front lobby, and whenever someone finished with chemo, they got to ring the bell, both to declare their "graduation" and as an encouragment to others.
Wow, I thought, compared to that, walking out of Moffitt was kind of anti-climactic. (Although my kiddos and in-laws greeted me with beautiful banners and my sister sent gorgeous roses) And while I think I would like a celebration of some sort when I'm feeling better (there is definitely another transfusion in my very close future)--mostly to celebrate my amazing support team in "real time" and on the internet--I couldn't help thinking.
How typical of us as people for us to want us to recognize our suffering and struggles. And we ALL have suffering and struggles...maybe not cancer, but we all walk those paths. But to reflect on in on Good Friday, yes, I had been miserable, but not to the point of shedding blood. Yes, it was an awful round, but I was not alone; my Jesus suffered alone and he died for me and for the sin of the entirety of mankind who would by grace believe. I was happy to get out, but I did feel rather small and melancholy as I reflected on my Savior's death, as is more than appropriate for Good Friday.
Lord, let my life be the bell that rings not my own sufferings and joys, but simply the music and truth of who you are. Thank you for your choice to suffer for that which you did not deserve and that which I so highly did.
Labels: chemotherapy, Reflections
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