Thursday, June 09, 2005
June
I have seasons where I am, if not truly melancholy, then at least more sensitive. This time, at least, I can't blame hormones, even with a new baby.
I think I'll just say it's June.
June. Hot weather, the first day of summer, the longest day of the year. June is hello and goodbye, joy and sadness.
June was saying goodbye to a school and a community as we prepared to move yet again with my stepfather's job. Out with the old and in with the new.
I was a June (thirteen years ago!) that I threw a birthday party for my sweetheart--his first in all of his 21 years. Five days later, I was a June bride. Goodbye to the boy and girl, hello man and wife.
Eleven years ago today, I delivered my stepfather's eulogy. We lost him so suddenly...and grief being a spiral and not something that comes full circle, the missing him comes back in waves especially on his birthday, the anniversary of his death and funeral and Father's Day (another June event). Goodbye Dad.
June 21, 2000 was truly the longest day of that year for us, as on the first day of summer, my third child struggled to be born and arrived limp and wallpaper paste grey. We watched a miracle that night as we put her on the altar and God graciously gave her back to us for a season. Her proud Daddy celebrated his 30th birthday the next day, holding her in his arms. Hello Hannah Faith.
A year ago in June, I took my children to say goodbye to the beloved saint who was their adpoted "Pop-pop". He rallied for the first time in days to hug and kiss them, and tell us all how much he loved us. And unbeknowst to us at the time, God was beginning the new life that would be a comfort to Pop-pop's widow and would be named in his honor. Good by Pop-pop. Hello Michael William.
Of course, June is also the end of the school year, of concerts, recitals, Bible camp and VBS. This year, June means family vacation as well. Surrounded by so much activity, I don't always take the time should to reflect and remember, to grieve and rejoice, to mourn and to celebrate all that June is in my life. Although, occasionally, I want to tell the world, "Stop! Be gentle with me...don't you know it's June??". Somehow I don't see that particular line of self-defense holding up in court!
The nice thing is, no self-defense is needed. God was, is, and contines to hold me tenderly each day, but even more so in June. And the wonderful thing is that little blessings, in my , um, "senstive" state are magnified. Today it was a cup of Starbuck's from a friend, a beautiful heartfelt compliment, an opportunity to serve and comfort a friend in need, and even my hairdresser not going overboard on my highlights or cutting my bangs too short.
Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. Nothing that happens to me is a sorrow that he has not bourne. My faith has not been tested to the point of the shedding of my blood. My God shall provide all my needs (even the ones for encouragement, chocolate and caffiene!) according to HIS riches and glory.
Even in June.
I think I'll just say it's June.
June. Hot weather, the first day of summer, the longest day of the year. June is hello and goodbye, joy and sadness.
June was saying goodbye to a school and a community as we prepared to move yet again with my stepfather's job. Out with the old and in with the new.
I was a June (thirteen years ago!) that I threw a birthday party for my sweetheart--his first in all of his 21 years. Five days later, I was a June bride. Goodbye to the boy and girl, hello man and wife.
Eleven years ago today, I delivered my stepfather's eulogy. We lost him so suddenly...and grief being a spiral and not something that comes full circle, the missing him comes back in waves especially on his birthday, the anniversary of his death and funeral and Father's Day (another June event). Goodbye Dad.
June 21, 2000 was truly the longest day of that year for us, as on the first day of summer, my third child struggled to be born and arrived limp and wallpaper paste grey. We watched a miracle that night as we put her on the altar and God graciously gave her back to us for a season. Her proud Daddy celebrated his 30th birthday the next day, holding her in his arms. Hello Hannah Faith.
A year ago in June, I took my children to say goodbye to the beloved saint who was their adpoted "Pop-pop". He rallied for the first time in days to hug and kiss them, and tell us all how much he loved us. And unbeknowst to us at the time, God was beginning the new life that would be a comfort to Pop-pop's widow and would be named in his honor. Good by Pop-pop. Hello Michael William.
Of course, June is also the end of the school year, of concerts, recitals, Bible camp and VBS. This year, June means family vacation as well. Surrounded by so much activity, I don't always take the time should to reflect and remember, to grieve and rejoice, to mourn and to celebrate all that June is in my life. Although, occasionally, I want to tell the world, "Stop! Be gentle with me...don't you know it's June??". Somehow I don't see that particular line of self-defense holding up in court!
The nice thing is, no self-defense is needed. God was, is, and contines to hold me tenderly each day, but even more so in June. And the wonderful thing is that little blessings, in my , um, "senstive" state are magnified. Today it was a cup of Starbuck's from a friend, a beautiful heartfelt compliment, an opportunity to serve and comfort a friend in need, and even my hairdresser not going overboard on my highlights or cutting my bangs too short.
Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. Nothing that happens to me is a sorrow that he has not bourne. My faith has not been tested to the point of the shedding of my blood. My God shall provide all my needs (even the ones for encouragement, chocolate and caffiene!) according to HIS riches and glory.
Even in June.
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