I am NOT a "crunchy granola"type of mom. However, you'd never know this from the morning I had. I was up with the sun to nurse the baby and change him (oops, disposable diapers--strike one for granola mama). I made oatmeal-raisin cookie pancakes for breakfast, from my home-ground whole wheat flour (Strike two--the ingredients weren't organic and we had bacon with them. However, my budding vegetarian five year old who loves all things on four legs, justified our consumption by saying that the bacon came from "bad piggies"). I enjoyed a mom and baby yoga class and the thrilled coos and squeals of my four month old; then supervised my older three in their kids' yoga class. After class my family and I killed time in the Breastfeeding Resource Center/Store while waiting to grab lunch at a new (to us) Thai place we'd been keen to try out for while.

I have to admit that I really liked the store. I loved the fact that breastfeeding friendly clothing no longer means dorky panel shirts that scream "Hey world, I'm LACTATING". I loved the gorgeous baby slings--and my naturally cheap self loved even more that my best friend made me for under $15 what they were charging upwards of $40 for. I loved that there is a good resource for women who need to rent high-quality breast pumps and obtain qualified lactation consultation. I appreciated that qualified consultation when I got to chat with the LC on duty who suggested the most sensible thing yet to try out with Mr. Fussy the Milk Monkey.

Strike three. As I considered the possibility of applying for a part time job there (only three months of breastfeeding experience needed; I'm fairly sure I'm pushing five), it hit me that I'm just not the type for the job; or if I am, then I don't want to be perceived as that type. I'm not a habitual "baby wearer"; and nursing isn't a lifestyle for me; it's how I feed my kids; it's cheap, easy and healthful.

It's kind of like when people would tell me, "You don't look like a homeschool mom". What?? So sorry, I left my denim jumper and Birkenstocks at home, along with my seven other children. Sheesh.

Or, "You have it all together". (Snort) They just caught me on a day when the laundry was done and I had my lipstick on.

I know I judge people by appearances; it's what humans do. But I hate to be judged and pidgen-holed by my appearance and/or activities. I AM a (sometimes) homeschooling, (sometimes) homebirthing, proponent of natural childbirth and breastfeeding. But I also believe in doing what a family needs to do to bring their children into the world, nurture and educate them in the manner that the Lord leads them. I DO love to cook wholesome meals for my family , but I also love the fact that I live in a day and age where I can order pizza for delivery while surfing the net. I am a stay at home mom, who functions best with my house more or less in order, but I do occasionally succumb to to the entropy of a large family. I AM so much more than the sum of my parts.

I like not being a "type". It makes it much less of a crisis when my roles change; babies weaning and walking and kids going off to school become moments of bittersweet reflection; not panic (well, the kids going to school next year does occasion anxiety...but I'm getting over it!).

My hope, when all is said and done is to be, like Paul, "all things to all men". I don't want to be a type; I want to be a reflection of my Father. I don't want create an identity; I want to take on the very likeness of Christ, no matter what I'm wearing;be it a baby sling and Birkenstocks or a power suit and high heels.

Okay, maybe not a power suit and heels...but it could happen. And I could still apply to work at the breastfeeding center a day or two a week during the school year. I could shake things up by being the token "soccer mom" on staff--but I'm not really a soccer mom either.

I am, for the moment, where my Father wants me to be. Not a type; but a work in progress (albeit a work who toted her baby to yoga class in a sling this morning and (gasp) nursed him in public several times). It's enough for today, an as for tomorrow; my Best Friend has cautioned me not to worry about it.