My friend Kirstin (www.razorbackmama.blogspot.com), forgetting that I am a worse techno-dork than I am a fashion dork, tagged me with the question: "Name five things you miss from childhood".

It gave me a pause. I've been told that I'm an encouraging person, but I think that my tendency is to be more negative. When I think childhood, I think of the negatives (my parents' divorce, my perpetual "new kid" status at whatever school we were at that year, my lovely thick plastic glasses and stand-out short red hair in a sea of long blonde and brown locks...). So this is an exercise for my benefit (and as with most things beneficial--healthy eating, exercise, spiritual growth--ICK)--Thanks a lot, Keer.

So, five things I miss from childhood:

1. I miss the feeling of permanence and security that people brought to my life. As a child, I never thought that I would outlive a beloved parent, or have to watch my grandparents age less than gracefully. I thought my parents were perfect (well, at least I thought my mom was perfect). I think having some of those bubbles popped were my roughest introductions to being a "grown up".

2. I miss the reckless abandon children embrace all of live with, maybe because they do feel so safe and secure. I want to feel awed beyond speech or movement at seeing a "really live Cinderella and Snow White", just like my brand new five-year-old did yesterday. I want every birthday to be the "best birthday ever", like it was for my eight year old, just because he had friends over to play and a triple chocolate cake with "Happy Birthday" written on it in Matoran (that's Bioncle code for those of you not fluent in elementary school boy-ease"). I want my day to be awesome, not because we spent a gazillion dollars on Disney tickets, but because my grandfather bought me Mickey Mouse Dove bars at 10:30 in the morning.

3. On that note, I really miss blissful ignorance of calories, fat, carbs, fiber, exercise, etc. I miss feeling really good about my body, or, between pregnancies and breastfeeding, feeling like my body was really mine!

4. I miss long, lazy summer days curled up with a basket of library books, some snacks and hours of doing nothing but reading (and not feeling guilty about all of the "should be doings" like laundry, grocery shopping, etc...).

5. I miss the safety of being able to screw up and make bad decisions with a minimum of consequences. No matter what, I always knew that Mom and Dad had my back, even when they were trying to teach me to make better choices.

Okay, so having processed all that, as much as I struggle with the reality of my own adulthood (most of the time I feel about twelve, not thirty-three). I really like my adulthood.

I came to Christ as a young adult....my security is eternal.

I have more friends than I ever did as a child or teen, and they are real, amazing , nurturing and loving people.

Every time I loose my grip on my sense of wonder or my body image, I get to watch (and experience) my four incredible children whom this (ahem) gently used body bore and nurtured. I get to hear and encourage the dreams of young people like my eldest nephew, who I am sure is on a fast track to rock and roll the field of Allied Health.

I have the protective covering of my husband (Happy, happy birthday, sweetheart!). He's pretty good at (by God's grace) protecting my from myself.

I wouldn't be a child again for anything. But I am more than willing (even delighted) to be forever child-like before my Heavenly Father.

Sometimes it is nice to play kid for a few hours, like today when my mother-in-law made us all lunch and did the clean up (hooray!).

Or right now...the baby is asleep and the "big" kids are out with their Dad.

I think I hear those snacks and library books calling my name....but as a grown up, I get to have Starbuck's with my Jane Austin.