Saturday, January 07, 2006
Selfish?
Random musing this week...
A popular author in the Christian homeschool community has recently published a series of articles in her family ministry's newsletter asserting that the "me" time for mommies is actually just a manifestation of cultural self-centeredness.
I understand that I'm oversimplifying her point of view here, but contrary to being convicted (especially considering my hiring a babysitter yesterday so I could go for a hike!) , my thought upon reading them was, "Great, one more thing for Christian women to feel guilty about".
I understand that what the Lord lays out for us to undertake, He will provide the strength for us to accomplish (provided we're operating in His grace and not trying to forge ahead in our own strength). However, I know in my own life, I've been consistently guilty of loving my neighbor better than myself.
I wouldn't hesitate to babysit a friend's children for a few hours so that she could take some "Mommy R&R", be it for a date night with her dh, a pedicure, or simply a nap. I'm not advocating that we spend our days pampering ourselves while our houses and families fall into neglect; but I also refuse to take on a sense of false guilt if I choose to leave my husband to cheer at the kids' soccer games while I meet my gal pals for a Pilates class and some mutual encouragement over coffee and bagels. While I may not "deserve" or "need" this "me" time, it certainly makes me a more cheerful wife and mother in the long run.
Obviously there are seasons where "me" time is less of an option. (For me, this has been the majority of the last year). But in that crunched season, the Lord also taught me to allow others to bless me with their offers of meals, babysitting, etc...support that I largely credit with keeping me from suffering a deep post-partum depression.
Maybe it all lies in our attitude. If I don't get time away and it causes me to be grumpy and irritable, playing "Mommy Martyr", obviously I've got an issue. But I have a hard time thinking that it's more spiritual to never take a momentary step back from our roles as wives and mothers to remember that we're also created beings that thrive on things like exercise, fellowship, and encouragement.
A popular author in the Christian homeschool community has recently published a series of articles in her family ministry's newsletter asserting that the "me" time for mommies is actually just a manifestation of cultural self-centeredness.
I understand that I'm oversimplifying her point of view here, but contrary to being convicted (especially considering my hiring a babysitter yesterday so I could go for a hike!) , my thought upon reading them was, "Great, one more thing for Christian women to feel guilty about".
I understand that what the Lord lays out for us to undertake, He will provide the strength for us to accomplish (provided we're operating in His grace and not trying to forge ahead in our own strength). However, I know in my own life, I've been consistently guilty of loving my neighbor better than myself.
I wouldn't hesitate to babysit a friend's children for a few hours so that she could take some "Mommy R&R", be it for a date night with her dh, a pedicure, or simply a nap. I'm not advocating that we spend our days pampering ourselves while our houses and families fall into neglect; but I also refuse to take on a sense of false guilt if I choose to leave my husband to cheer at the kids' soccer games while I meet my gal pals for a Pilates class and some mutual encouragement over coffee and bagels. While I may not "deserve" or "need" this "me" time, it certainly makes me a more cheerful wife and mother in the long run.
Obviously there are seasons where "me" time is less of an option. (For me, this has been the majority of the last year). But in that crunched season, the Lord also taught me to allow others to bless me with their offers of meals, babysitting, etc...support that I largely credit with keeping me from suffering a deep post-partum depression.
Maybe it all lies in our attitude. If I don't get time away and it causes me to be grumpy and irritable, playing "Mommy Martyr", obviously I've got an issue. But I have a hard time thinking that it's more spiritual to never take a momentary step back from our roles as wives and mothers to remember that we're also created beings that thrive on things like exercise, fellowship, and encouragement.
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4 Comments:
Heather: I think you have some very good points here. I can't help but think that in Biblical times when things were more communal and family was closer that there would have been those blessed moments of reprieve for which we often find ourselves hungering.
Thank you, Friend. I have struggled with this very thing, and you made it all clear for me.
:>)
Heather,
For me to have time with a dear friend over lunch makes me a better wife and mom. I'm thankful for a husband who encourages me to get out and fellowship with other women!
Julie D.
me time? what's that? lol :o)
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