Wednesday, February 07, 2007
The number of true friends I have been blessed with in my adult life is something that continuously blows me out of the water.
My late childhood and most of my teen years were spent more or less friendless--we moved so much that by the time I was in high school, I had developed so many defense mechanisms that it was impossible for me to make a close friend. Most of the time I simply saw myself as an unlikeable person.
After I was saved (early freshman year), God tore down the walls and I began to make friends...including my best friend, the man who would become my husband.
I have friends I am related to (my sisters), one friend who is Jonathan to my David, a true sister of the heart, another who is a close second if only we had more time and lived closer, a small circle of women in Phoenix that I was blessed to be close to, and an amazing circle of email friends, many of which I've been blessed to meet over the years. In the last few months, they've stuck by me through all of the craziness.
One thing I've also learned is that close friendship is hard to maintain over distances. I've come to appreciate a friendship quality that I call "low maintenance" and that my friend Heather simply calls, "being pragmatic".
Lucky for me, both she and my friend Meredith are pragmatic. When I moved away, they realized that life is busy, especially for a mom with an expanding brood. Despite once being pretty tight, my communication with Heather dropped to exchanging Christmas cards. Meredith, while busy with growing a thriving business, could always be counted on to drop her life for a day and come catch up with me during visits to Florida. Neither saw it as "personal" or a lack of love on my part that I couldn't be a better "day to day" friend.
Now I'm home...and that "pragmatic" quality that the three of us share means that despite being in a new place, I have friends! I got to have a girls day out with Heather this weekend, and if you had seen us chattering away at the coffee shop, you'd never know it had been twelve years since our last face-to-face meeting. Meredith has faithfully visited me in the hospital and came down to spend the day with us today, too. Both have made me feel less lonely--let's face it, a girl needs girlfriends!
I'm praying that I learn from them, too, to be "pragmatic" with the now far-away friends who meant so much to me in Phoenix. They're too special to let fall by the wayside, and I can't imagine having them fall away completely.
My late childhood and most of my teen years were spent more or less friendless--we moved so much that by the time I was in high school, I had developed so many defense mechanisms that it was impossible for me to make a close friend. Most of the time I simply saw myself as an unlikeable person.
After I was saved (early freshman year), God tore down the walls and I began to make friends...including my best friend, the man who would become my husband.
I have friends I am related to (my sisters), one friend who is Jonathan to my David, a true sister of the heart, another who is a close second if only we had more time and lived closer, a small circle of women in Phoenix that I was blessed to be close to, and an amazing circle of email friends, many of which I've been blessed to meet over the years. In the last few months, they've stuck by me through all of the craziness.
One thing I've also learned is that close friendship is hard to maintain over distances. I've come to appreciate a friendship quality that I call "low maintenance" and that my friend Heather simply calls, "being pragmatic".
Lucky for me, both she and my friend Meredith are pragmatic. When I moved away, they realized that life is busy, especially for a mom with an expanding brood. Despite once being pretty tight, my communication with Heather dropped to exchanging Christmas cards. Meredith, while busy with growing a thriving business, could always be counted on to drop her life for a day and come catch up with me during visits to Florida. Neither saw it as "personal" or a lack of love on my part that I couldn't be a better "day to day" friend.
Now I'm home...and that "pragmatic" quality that the three of us share means that despite being in a new place, I have friends! I got to have a girls day out with Heather this weekend, and if you had seen us chattering away at the coffee shop, you'd never know it had been twelve years since our last face-to-face meeting. Meredith has faithfully visited me in the hospital and came down to spend the day with us today, too. Both have made me feel less lonely--let's face it, a girl needs girlfriends!
I'm praying that I learn from them, too, to be "pragmatic" with the now far-away friends who meant so much to me in Phoenix. They're too special to let fall by the wayside, and I can't imagine having them fall away completely.
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2 Comments:
You're right, Heather. A girl DOES need girlfriends! So glad these friendships are there to sustain you...they're important. And, yes, true friends are REAL treasures!!
Blessings.
:-) Susam
I'm jealous, I could use a cup of coffee and a good laugh right now...Miss you friend!!
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