Hmmm...the career options don't look all that great. That,or I'm being unambitious and lazy--at least by the standards of a world that tells me that I can do and/or be anything I want.

Did you catch that phrase? You know, "the standards of the world"? (Don't forget the "I want" part, either). At this point, I'm beginning to wonder if the problem here lies less in our squeaky finances and more in my heart.

Fast forward a bit. I'm having a heart to heart with a dear friend who is struggling with feeling unsuccessful compared to her professional peers. Another conversation follows with another friend who feels like at this point in her life "she can't do anything but be a stay at home mom and wife".

My question to both of them is this. What if this is all God has for you? If x is the pinnacle of your worldly accomplishments? Is it enough to know that you've been obedient to Him?

Then I realized that I wasn't really talking to them. That little gem was for me.

I'm human. The "temporary trappings of this world" look pretty darn attractive to me most of the time. It's hard to watch people around me enjoying some of the life luxuries that so appeal to me (Who knew Satan could appear in the form of a fancy vacation or front loading deluxe washer and dryer? Just theoretically, of course...) Money and the praise of men can be gratifying and useful.

But most of the most amazing things that have happened to me have little to NOTHING to do with me, or what I wanted.

I had no hand in my own salvation.

I didn't "want" to be a SAHM/Mom to more than a few/homeschooler/public schooler etc. I thought a high-powered medical career might be fun. But my heart was changed in a way that my flesh could never explain.

I had no desire to EVER go on a mission...but Uganda was thrust upon me in a way I couldn't ignore.

Writing a book certainly wasn't in my life plan. It was handed to me like a lovely gift.

Here's the thing. When I am removed from the equation--my striving, my desires--I can retain my passion for something while still leaving the results to God. In the end, it doesn't matter if this book sells twenty copies (all of them to my mom!) or hits the Times bestseller list. What matters is that all of us involved in the project were obedient to do what God told us to to--me to write out my musings, the ACWI folks to pray about and go forward to the project.

I can't compare what God has for me to what God has for someone else. Let me be very clear here. I believe that God calls some women to careers outside the home, and that if he calls them that they should obey that call. To ignore it is to invite misery and self-doubt (see above self-induced life crisis).

Paul sums it up like this: