Monday, September 08, 2008
Monday, Monday...
I've had a hard time getting to my blog lately.
Life is a mixed bag right now. Last week brought the joys of tooling around the theme parks with my girls, starting new Bible studies (CBS and church), enjoying the company of out-of-town friends, and the first sighting of a Florida fall--the return of the Pumpkin Spice Latte to Starbucks.
It also brought a leaky washer (Again. I'm beginning to think trying to keep our laundry up while using an aging low-end top loader is kind of like trying to write one's magnum opus in crayola. But I digress.)
Did you know that bull mastiffs can get really horrible cases of hives that require pricey emergency visits to the local animal hospital? I do now, thanks to my adventure in pet-sitting last Friday.
AND I had the new experience of having, well , that child in preschool and Bible Study class. Seems the little guy isn't "adjusting" well to his new class settings. As of next week, I'll be sitting in to offer the CBS teacher suggestions on working with him (in his mixed age preschool class) and his sweet school teacher and I will be collaborating on a behavior chart to help him with the skills he struggles with, namely sitting and focusing when there is a group activity with out getting overwhelmed and transitioning smoothly from activity to activity.
Why is it that, despite pretty much expecting this from the beginning this year, I'm still feeling like a "bad" mom? I find myself embarrassed, wanting to explain that I've also given birth and raised three other children who were decently behaved in group situations at his age, and that I really am NOT as clueless as my child's behavior would make it appear?
Why is it that having a child with a "silent" disability like Sensory Integration Disorder or a language processing disorder (he has been diagnosed with both) can be such a double-edged sword? If I don't pre-inform new teachers then he looks like a perfectly normal, but poorly behaved child. If I DO pre-inform (like at CBS) then I get teachers who are afraid to set boundaries for him without me hand-holding for them?
Now that I've had a few days of distance from my hurt pride, some sage advice, and lots of time on my knees, I find myself more firmly resolved to love this child to the standard. He's so much better most of the time (at least around us) and he is still on summer break from therapy, so it's often easy for me to forget that he's not just a "quirky" preschooler. It doesn't help that I allow myself to occasionally succumb to guilty feelings of having lost so much time with him--first to his early illness, and then to mine. Sometimes it's easier to give into frustration than do the work I need to do with Him.
Once again, I'm glad that God doesn't suffer from the same parenting foibles that I do. Ever patient, he doesn't give up on me, but disciplines me, molding me into the image of His Son. The charge of this very special child is sweet discipline for me.
Less sweet, of course, are the children who oversleep, the piles of laundry, the dirty floors and bathrooms, and the house arrest of waitng for a repair man that have made up the start of my week. But the confinement to home has allowed lots of focused time for sensory activites and rehearsing classroom behavior with the Little Guy. So I guess those are sweet disciplines, too.
Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. --Hebrews 12:10-11
Life is a mixed bag right now. Last week brought the joys of tooling around the theme parks with my girls, starting new Bible studies (CBS and church), enjoying the company of out-of-town friends, and the first sighting of a Florida fall--the return of the Pumpkin Spice Latte to Starbucks.
It also brought a leaky washer (Again. I'm beginning to think trying to keep our laundry up while using an aging low-end top loader is kind of like trying to write one's magnum opus in crayola. But I digress.)
Did you know that bull mastiffs can get really horrible cases of hives that require pricey emergency visits to the local animal hospital? I do now, thanks to my adventure in pet-sitting last Friday.
AND I had the new experience of having, well , that child in preschool and Bible Study class. Seems the little guy isn't "adjusting" well to his new class settings. As of next week, I'll be sitting in to offer the CBS teacher suggestions on working with him (in his mixed age preschool class) and his sweet school teacher and I will be collaborating on a behavior chart to help him with the skills he struggles with, namely sitting and focusing when there is a group activity with out getting overwhelmed and transitioning smoothly from activity to activity.
Why is it that, despite pretty much expecting this from the beginning this year, I'm still feeling like a "bad" mom? I find myself embarrassed, wanting to explain that I've also given birth and raised three other children who were decently behaved in group situations at his age, and that I really am NOT as clueless as my child's behavior would make it appear?
Why is it that having a child with a "silent" disability like Sensory Integration Disorder or a language processing disorder (he has been diagnosed with both) can be such a double-edged sword? If I don't pre-inform new teachers then he looks like a perfectly normal, but poorly behaved child. If I DO pre-inform (like at CBS) then I get teachers who are afraid to set boundaries for him without me hand-holding for them?
Now that I've had a few days of distance from my hurt pride, some sage advice, and lots of time on my knees, I find myself more firmly resolved to love this child to the standard. He's so much better most of the time (at least around us) and he is still on summer break from therapy, so it's often easy for me to forget that he's not just a "quirky" preschooler. It doesn't help that I allow myself to occasionally succumb to guilty feelings of having lost so much time with him--first to his early illness, and then to mine. Sometimes it's easier to give into frustration than do the work I need to do with Him.
Once again, I'm glad that God doesn't suffer from the same parenting foibles that I do. Ever patient, he doesn't give up on me, but disciplines me, molding me into the image of His Son. The charge of this very special child is sweet discipline for me.
Less sweet, of course, are the children who oversleep, the piles of laundry, the dirty floors and bathrooms, and the house arrest of waitng for a repair man that have made up the start of my week. But the confinement to home has allowed lots of focused time for sensory activites and rehearsing classroom behavior with the Little Guy. So I guess those are sweet disciplines, too.
Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. --Hebrews 12:10-11
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3 Comments:
{{{HUGS}}} I hope Tuesday is better. And I KNOW you know better than to doubt your parenting skills. You have raised a house full of delightful, well-mannered and respectful children. Just because you're having some new challenges with the Little Guy doesn't mean you are a bad Mom, it just means that you're still learning. Aren't we all?
{{{heather}}} God is so good & grascious, isn't he?
Thanks for this posting. I have a daughter who has a receptive language disorder and is also a visual learner...needless to say, we found this out over the summer, after a not so nice year in Jr. Kindergarten. Thank you for your encouraging story and the reminder to love my child no matter how "differently" she acts from everyone else...and we are seeing glimmers of improvement.
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