One of the things I hated most about trying to relocated during the height of my cancer treatment was that my physical and psychological exhaustion left me at a point of living each day in pure survival mode. Most days, the most ponderous decision I could make was what we should have for dinner (not that I could eat it most of the time), and most of the time it was just easier to let someone else make decisions for me.

Case in point--when we purchased our new home, it looked like someone both manic AND color blind had decorated it. We paid to have it painted from top to bottom, but the chore of picking out colors was just too much for me. So, the downstairs living area I had painted the same color as our home in Arizona (which I love and goes with all of our things),and the rest of the house I had painted in a clean, albeit boring off-white.

Every day, as I feel stronger, it's easier to make the house a little bit more "ours", and the prospect of decorating and brightening doesn't seem so overwhelming. The downstairs bath is now a soft, sherbert-ish peach color, with a sweet quilted (and on sale!) window treatment that matches one of my favorite cross-stitch pieces (and one of the few I've ever kept for myself). The little guy's room is "100 Acre Blue"--thanks to my interior decorator neighbor--punctuated with all of his favorite things (trains and Muppets) and a window treatment that I'm proud to say I designed and made myself (for less than $15). I just finished painting a the princess' room a yellow as sunshiny as she is and her window treatments arrived yesterday. I've even got the upstairs kids' bath and ds 1's rooms planned out, and tentative plans for the loft. It's as if the house and I are finally embracing each other, rather than fighting.

In the spirit of embracing the community, we've also, (with much fear and trembling) enrolled the older three children in the local public schools. After ten plus years of indoctrination in the conservative home school movement, this is akin to placing them directly in the jowls of Satan himself, but so far the Lord has opened doors for them AND given this Mommy tremendous peace each morning as I watch them fly the nest for the day.

We may have even found a church. The preaching is excellent, but the location is not at all local, and I can't decide if the people are not friendly or if I'm still in guarded mode. Time will tell, and we'll continue to trust God for the right church home for us. It seems an easy thing to trust Him with as we continue to have to turn over things like unsold property and health issues.

My biggest downer right now is missing my beloved CBS class. I'm over 45 minutes away from one here, but I'm ready for the fellowship and the discipline of being part of a regular study.

Slowly, slowly, this community is becoming our home.